We all know relationships can be hard work. They evolve in many ways over time; from the initial bliss of the honeymoon period, to a more long-term, fulfilling stability. And that’s the ones that work. Relationships require constant nurturing and compromise to survive the test of time.
Our relationship with fitness goes through many of the same stages as our romantic relationships. But we don’t afford our fitness compatibility the same care and attention, and that is a shame.
In my case (and this is probably true for many of you too), fitness has been one of my longest and most sacrosanct relationships. It has been complex, too, with many ups and downs, and challenges along the way. I spent a long honeymoon period with group exercise – as you may have gathered from some of my previous articles. It was a love affair filled with excitement and passion, and more than a dash of obsession.
Group exercise has been especially comforting and consoling to me. When I moved to a new city, or was experiencing ups and downs in my career or love life, group exercise was there for me – something familiar, something that never changed.
But, looking back, I began to get bored. Around two years ago, I started to question what I was getting from the relationship. My eye started catching the weights rack as I waited outside the group ex studio for the next predictable class to begin. I started saying hello to the personal trainers.
The truth was, I was no longer seeing any change in the mirror. My physique looked the same as it had for years. I had no more muscle definition, and the classes were always as hard as I wanted them to be. While continuity can be a good thing, it didn’t feel like I was moving forward. Truth be told, I felt like I was in a relationship rut.
Sure, I was still having fun. The physical side of the relationship was great – I was jumping, running, dancing and sweating myself into a state of ecstasy, chasing (and catching) that high that had hooked me in the first place. But something was missing, and my wandering eye was showing me where I wanted to go.
It was a harsh realisation - I wanted things group ex just couldn’t give me. Increased strength, a more chiseled appearance, and more energy were what I was after. It was time for a change.
I began reducing the amount of group ex I was doing per week. I started replacing classes with resistance/weight training. I didn’t abandon group ex altogether – there was no reason to be brutal. Rather, I decreased my weekly quota and relegated it primarily to HIIT classes, which enabled me to continue burning calories up to 24 hours after exertion. It was still group ex, but a more productive version.
I’m not telling you to stop doing what you love. I’m not suggesting you look elsewhere. Maybe you are already in the best fitness relationship for you. But I would encourage you to look inside every now and again, and assess your goals.
The best way to achieve them is constantly changing, with new disciplines coming online all the time. For example, if you're looking to train for strength, replace some of your yoga classes with weight training with a PT. Keep the yoga for flexibility and balance, but don’t expect to build the type of muscle you want.
As with everything else in life – your romantic relationships, your career, and your friendships – don’t settle for second best. Find your healthy balance and make sure your passions and goals align. That’s where true happiness lies.